New Youtube Video!

YOUTUBE

HEYO I released my third Youtube video last Friday, making my first three week Youtube cycle commitment a complete success! I am taking this week off to brainstorm more ideas, get ahead on other projects and future videos.

If you haven’t had a chance to watch my newest video yet, here it is:

Whenever anyone makes anything public, there is a level of vulnerable exposure. We put a bit of our souls and emotions into the things we create, even if those things are not easy to identify in the work. Those bits and pieces of vulnerability are the matter that viewers ultimately relate to.

Unfortunately as a creator, those bits and pieces of vulnerability are what makes me cringe so fucking hard when I watch my own work. Whether it’s stand-up comedy clips, Youtube videos, or cartoons, I can’t help but curl up into a human ball of cringe. I like to believe that all creators feel this in one way or another.

I had a very hard time managing this feeling when I was making this particular video. It’s a video about my face and how I’ve come to terms with my appearance. I tried SO HARD to present myself as objective and humorous in order to fight the corniness I felt when writing this idea. The last bit of the video was cut significantly because of parts that I felt were too feely, emo, and vulnerable.

Because of this feeling, I was trembling with nerves to show it to my friends. Those nerves calmed down a bit when I saw that they were laughing and enjoying it, but even still I had voices of doubt. “What if this is cringe and everyone knows it and they’re just being nice?” “I heard Leona react when I said ‘I love my face’ in the video, did I come off as self-absorbed?” “Why do I even make these videos, am I stroking my ego?”

I did an even more cringe thing as a response to my cringe and I asked my partner repeatedly if I was cringe. That’s so cringe bro.

I’ve come to terms with this feeling a bit since then. I keep running into this sentiment online that says we should accept the cringe. Here is what reddit user u/thonglodyte posted two years ago:

Every successful person we see on television got there because they accepted their cringe. Drake. Taylor Swift. Jack Harlow. Need I say more? I’m sure all of these people were cringe for a long time even before they were famous.

Cringe is the enemy of being yourself. It’s the voice in our brains that is annoyingly reminding us that we are being perceived. Once we can let go of cringe, we can truly be ourselves. I’m learning to apply this mindset into my life.

So for now, I will welcome my cringing. I will feel it all, but not let it affect me. We’ll see where this goes.

PIZZA PARTY THE PARTY!

This month, in celebration of 4 great Pizza Parties, (and because Thanksgiving is around the corner and we anticipate less people in the city) WE ARE THROWING A PARTY!!!!!!!!!

COME THROUGH! We’ll have pizza, music, and Super Smash Bros projected on the big screen for people to play. There won’t be a comedy show, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be any comedy… because ya’ll will be there entertaining each other!

If you can come, please RSVP here:

See you there you donks

RECS OF THE WEEK

Here are some amazing albums I’ve been listening to lately:

Paris Texas - if you ever see me headbanging on the train, this is why

Laufey - if you ever see me smiling wistfully on the train, this is why

That’s all folks! Watch my new video for me, come through to pizza party party for me, and fight the cringe FOR YOURSELF.